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From XOXO to LMAO: The Definitive Dictionary of Internet Acronyms

The future is here, and far from being able to cross the street on a flying skateboard or teleport to Venus through monolithic astral platforms, well, we have WhatsApp groups and smart canned vaginas.

It's a bit disappointing, I know, but more disappointing is not adapting, not keeping up with the times, but someone asking the sirs of letters, the prodigious scholars of the Royal Spanish Academy. They are all criticism and ridicule towards them, why? Because they have seen the train of modernity go by and have not gotten on. Either for not betraying old ideals or for keeping the structure of our language safe.

In any case, so that the same thing does not happen to us, we are going to create a small dictionary with the most modern words ("word" is in the RAE, I have looked at it) on the Internet. That series of acronyms that we already use without realizing it and sometimes we have no idea where they come from or what they mean. Of course, it will be of help to all those who had never seen it in their lives and for whom, from the beginning, it will seem like a Martian language, typical of modern unprincipled people.

Beforehand, a paragraph:

Acronym: m. Word formed by the initials, and sometimes by more letters, of other words: "RENFE" is the acronym for Red Nacional de Ferrocarriles Españoles.

ASAP

"As Soon As Posible" ("Tan pronto como sea posible")

The expression comes from the military world. It has spread and now, if you're cool, say so. (My God, do you still say "cool"?)

AKA

"Also Known As" ("También conocido como").

This is more popular, we can use it to nickname or nickname. Ex: Miguel de Cervantes AKA El Manco de Lepanto, Fernando Gálvez Gómez AKA Young Beef, Kakarot AKA Son Goku... It is also suitable for any type of book, movie or work.

BTW

"By The Way" ("Por cierto").

IWSN

"I Want Sex Now" ("Quiero sexo ahora").

The acronym most persecuted by parents when it comes to "stalking" (another modernism) their children's mobile.

420, 4: 20 or 4/20

"Marihuana", "Cannabis".

Legend has it that the origin of the term comes from a group of vermin adolescents from the San Rafael school, in California in 1971, who would meet after school, at 4: 20 pm, to smoke marijuana at the statue of Louis Pasteur. Out of habit and accumulated blind people, April 20 ("4/20" on the calendar) became World Cannabis Day and the term to name it without them finding out in the chats how stoner one is.

LOL

"Laughing Out Loud" ("Riendo a carcajadas").

It's like "XD" but crazy. It is also used sarcastically. LMAO: ("Laughing My Ass Off"), would be another equivalent.

FYI

"For your information" ("Para tu información").

Ex: "You're between the TV and me, FYI."

GIYF

"Google Is Your Friend" ("Google es tu amigo").

Typically used to send the coworker on duty to Google because they have asked a question that Google can easily solve. Much has been lost in the conversation because of Google and our ease of access to the Internet. GIYF is a modern version of the RTFM acronym, "Read the fucking manual" and was used in similar situations.

JIC

"Just In Case" ("Por si acaso").

Eg: "Boy, put one more meatball in that Tupperware. JIC."

OMG

"Oh My God!" ("¡Oh, Dios Mío!").

It can be the greatest expression of exclamation, surprise, astonishment and disbelief. It is as common in social networks and pilgrimages as it is in adult cinema.

WTF?

"What The Fuck?" (Approximations: "What the hell...?" "But what the hell...?")

We usually use this expression for everything, from the inexplicable noise at the end of the corridor, to being outraged because our little brother has just put the last Prince cookie in his mouth that we had in mind for us because we are the oldest.

FTW

"For the win" ("Por la victoria").

It is often used with enthusiastic emphasis and at the end of a comment. Sometimes it's done genuinely, but often sarcastically, since it's spelled, if you'll notice, like "WTF" but backwards.

XOXO

"Hugs and kisses".

Some crazy person saw in the "O" a hug and in the "X" the kisses and put it at the end of a message. Eg: "An honor to have written this article for all of you, my dear readers of FCinco. XOXO". (This is, at a minimum, metaliterature.)